Thursday, March 11, 2010
One Hundred and Last
Alright. I'm ready.
To the new blog we go!
1:21 AM
Monday, March 08, 2010
One Hundred and Fifteen
Right now, Kak Han is listening and singing along to old Malay songs that we used to know. Yes, I still remember the lyrics. After all these years. My God.
Last month, for my birthday, I thought of posting all my past birthday posts, starting from 2005,when I first started posting. Reading them all back, though, I immediately changed my mind. They're horrible! I keep cracking jokes which aren't funny. The problems which I thought were problems weren't that serious. Plus, my paragraphing was terrible, not to mention my sentence structures. I didn't have the guts to show them to the rest of the world (again). No deserves that kind of cruelty - well, no one I know, anyhow.
Still, it was nice to read. I had so much less to do back then. I wouldn't want to go back to the past, because I love where I am now, and I'm looking forward to the present. But reading about my childhood and realising that I'm never going to go through that kind of life again makes me realise that I'm never going to go through
this life again, so I'd better start enjoying it while I can. I don't want to grow up to be the kind of person who's forgotten what it's like to be young. Then again, I don't want to be the kind of person who just pines for her youth, either.
Onward!
1:23 AM
Friday, March 05, 2010
A Hundred and Fourteen
Ok, people, I'm moving!
Technically, I'm just changing the blog address. It's idioteaque.blogspot.com. I'm going to make it private, but only for a while, because I want to know how many people are actually reading this blog. So, do invite yourself. All invitations will be accepted, rest assured. Like I said: I just want to know if the number of readers I have can be counted on one hand, or two.
I'm giving myself a week. Then it's official.
No more jiganibaboo.
Hahahah. So drama.
7:08 PM
Thursday, March 04, 2010
a hundred and thirteen
I got invited by my friends today to join InterMad in the track-and-field. I am, of course, sorely tempted. But to be honest, I don't think I should. I'm juggling so much already. I'd love to join them and run once in a while, but I don't think I can add practice and tournament to my long-enough list of things that I have to do. I deserve a little time reserved just for myself.
Interesting thing: I was walking home today when I was suddenly hit by the realisation that I could die at any moment. Like, really die. I know we're all aware of our mortality, and believe that we should 'live life to the fullest'. But I don't think we truly, truly get it. Well, I know I didn't, until this evening. I suddenly felt very very vulnerable. I don't know about other people, but sudden morbid thoughts freak me out.
I have this belief you see: everything that God gives, he gives in balance. If He gives you something really good, something bad will soon come along. And if you just got something really bad, then good things will be sent your way soon after. Whatever we're having now, we'll quickly get the opposite. I suspect that it's His way of keeping us all in perspective, and on our toes. He giveth, and He taketh awayeth, right?
So, recently I've been feeling really
alive. It's why I feel like doing more new things, and walking and running more. All the stress that I've been facing the last few months just made me more
aware of things in general. Now I feel like I can accomplish anything; now I feel like I'm ready to take on anything anyone throws at me. Like I said: I feel really really alive. Which, if you will recall my previous belief, worries me. Because as far as I know, there's only one opposite to being alive.
He giveth, and He taketh awayeth.
All the way home I found myself looking out more things that could kill me.
Do you realise that there are so many ways we can die?
I don't know what to do with myself.
1:01 AM
Tuesday, March 02, 2010
a hundred and twelve
If I could have my own way, I'd cycle to school everyday.
I don't think people know this, but I like to plan. For anything, really. Plan what I'm going to do for the day, for the week, the month. Plan what I'm going to draw, plan what blogskin I'm going to do next, plan an event. I like the idea of having a schedule (I wonder what that says about me). I may not write it all down, and I may not have a proper journal or calendar book, but I definetly plan everything I want to do inside my head. A little chaos in control, that way.
I also like to walk around a lot. I try to go up and down the stairs in school whenever I can, and avoid using the lift. Some people think I do it to lose weight or get fit, but really I just like the excercise. I think it's because I used to be so active as a kid. I can't run around as much anymore, so I walk. I like that ache you get in your legs at the end. It reminds me that my legs have been used the way it's supposed to, that I'm fulfilling its purpose. It's a nice feeling. I don't know if it makes sense to anyone else.
I also like the smell of the wet market.
Yeah, I don't suppose that one makes sense to you, either.
1:25 AM
Friday, February 26, 2010
a hundred and eleven
Ok, people!
I'm gonna be changing my blog address soon. I'm not quite done with the new version yet, but it's coming.
I think I'm ready for a little change.
January was exhausting and frustrating. February was tiring, too, but less so. I think February was a little better. I say was, because I'm ready for March, too. Let's just get all the necessary dirty work done and over with.
I've had to do a lot, both as a student and as a prefect. I know it's not as much work as other people's, but it's still a little more than I'm used to, and it's sometimes quite a struggle. But I feel smarter for it, and stronger, if not a little jaded as well. Hah, I don't trust the authorities anymore.
Yesterday I've had Maulid. Today and tomorrow, I have camp. I don't know why I keep signing up for things. I just do. I know I'm probably gonna end up tired, and I'm probably gonna suffer a little for it, but again: I just want to try something new.
One thing I'm definitely not signing up for, though, is Bahas 4PM. I don't care how much they beg, this is the one thing they can't make me do. I hate it when they say, "But you can do it, Dee, we know you can!" Um, I think I know myself better than you do, thank you very much. You can push me around, but even I have my limits. And I draw the line at speaking in proper Malay in public. Take that!
5:30 PM
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
A Hundred and Ten
Is it just me, or has Criminal Minds gotten creepier?
I need ice-cream.
PS: Hotch is too kewl for skewl.
2:15 AM
