Friday, January 23, 2009
Fifty-Eight
Hello everybody!
As far as first-week-of-schools go, I'm having a really really great time. All my life I've encountered luck after luck, and now I find that it has yet to leave me. I think it's because some of the girls have been going to school since the beginning of the year, so they're already comfortable with everything. They started introducing themselves and asking the rest of us new kids to introduce ourselves on the first day; by the next, I had already learnt and remembered all their names. By the third I had known who's funny and loud, who's nice and quiet, who's serious and observant; and by the fourth I had figured out what makes them laugh, and what doesn't. By the fifth, I was feeling comfortably comfortable.
I won't deny it - we're not the same. No one talks like I do, or laughs at the all the things that I would find funny. We don't watch the same shows and we don't listen to the same kind of songs. I doubt that I would ever, completely and wholly, meld in with them, at least not like the way I did with S4P '08, and not so soon. But that's okay, because no one is like S4P, and I don't expect them to be. But it doesn't stop me from having a great time around them (they're extremely hilarious people).
I'm counting my blessings.
3:38 PM
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Fifty-Six
I am now in a computer shop in Bugis updating my blog on an Apple computer, and I must say, everything about it is pretty much awesome. The keyboard is delicious and the screen has much of my love. Real nice.
7:41 PM
Friday, January 16, 2009
Fifty-Five
WHAT KIND OF SICK AUTHOR LETS HIS MAIN CHARACTER FIGHT HIS ENEMY, BEAT THE ODDS, AND SURVIVE IN THE FIRST BOOK, AND THEN KILLS HIM OFF IN THE SEQUEL?! WHY WOULD ANYBODY FEEL THE NEED TO DO THAT, HUH?! WHY?!? DAMMIT!!
5:28 PM
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Fifty-Four
I dreamt that I was being chased by some evil spirits, but then a man came and rescued me. Later on, I found that the man was gay and is already married to his partner, because I saw him driving away with another guy who was wearing a white veil in a pink car with the words 'Just Married' pasted at the back.
As to what I think all of this means, I'd really rather not say.
But enough about dreams.
I've been rudely snapped back to reality.
Because I start school next Monday.
Yeah.
So much for, 'You'll get a call from us in a week or two'.
I guess I have to go and shop for black shoes now.
Wee, takya kapor!
And on another note:
I'll be getting a new handphone soon!
(cue clapping)
6:32 PM
Fifty-Three
What I really really want to do
Right now,
Is to wear this big-ass, light blue headphones
With a Yellow Star on each side of them,
Walk over to Pasir Ris Park
(preferably wearing a long skirt),
And hug the horses there
While listening to 'If the Rain Must Fall'.
That's
What I really really want to do.
But I can't.
Because I don't have headphones.
So I'll just have to settle with going downstairs to buy tahu for my grandmother wearing my polka dot pants, because that's all I got.
5:51 PM
Monday, January 12, 2009
Fifty-One
So I was sleeping soundly this morning when I was woken up by my Tok at about 7:15 am.
"Yayi lah talipon."
Ahh. The relatives' how-was-your-o-level-results call. I love my grandparents and I think they're really cool people, but I'll be honest here and say that I've been dreading their call. I mean, what am I supposed to say? Do I tell them
all my results of each and every subject, or do I just say it's okay? Would they try to talk about where I want to go now that I have my results? And, more importantly, will I have to try to make light conversation? I never liked light, polite conversation. It always feels fake. The interest.
But it turns out there was nothing to worry about at all. It was a nice, straightforward conversation.
So how did you do?Okay ah, not bad, alhamdulillah.How many subjects did you take? Did you pass them all?Yeah, 9 subjects.9, that's a lot! What were your best subjects?So on and so forth. At the end he went, "Okay, tahniah dari Yayi and Nyayi eh!" which was sweet.
And that was it.
Silly me.
So I'm going to be honest here and say that I'm actually a little disappointed with some of my subjects because I really expected better (namely Bio and IRK - hah! IRK. I'm so terrible). But there were also some subjects which pleasantly surprised me (Amaths and Maths), so I say it's a fair deal. Overall, I'm pretty happy with what I got, and I thank God fervently for it.
It's over, ja?
I wish we could be talk about this openly, with no fear or trepidation, instead of hiding and pretending as if 4 years of friendship doesn't mean anything.
Also.
After careful consideration and deep deliberation on roller skates yesterday, while skating back and forth in the living room late at night, I have decided to go to Pre-U A-Levels. I realise that it's likely that I will have 2 difficult, uncomfortable years ahead of me, and that the other option - Poly - would be a more enjoyable, refreshing experience. But I have to think long term here. The end results will be worth it, insya Allah.
Which reminds me of a Calvin and Hobbes comic strip where Calvin is debating with himself whether to do his homework or to go outside and play in the snow.
"In the short term, it would make me happy to go play outside.In the long term, it would make me happier to do well at school and become successful.But in the very long term, I know which will make better memories."Snow-playing ensues.
*sigh*
I think we all should try to acquire Calvin's infinite wisdom.
3:36 PM
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Fifty
Today's the day.
today today today today today.
*takes deep breath*
Here we go.
3:37 PM
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
Forty-Nine
Zahira and I had a really interesting conversation about graphology, and it got me posting this: my handwriting analysis. I warn you, this will probably bore you to tears, so.
"Welcome Diyanah Hardy, here is your handwriting analysis.
Diyanah uses judgment to make decisions. She is ruled by her head, not her heart. She is a cool, collected person who is usually unexpressive emotionally. Some may see her as unemotional. She does have emotions but has no need to express them. She is withdrawn into herself and enjoys being alone.The circumstances when Diyanah does express emotions include: extreme anger, extreme passion, and tremendous stress. If someone gets her mad enough to tell her off, she will not be sorry about it later. She puts a mark in her mind when someone angers her. She keeps track of these marks and when she hits that last mark she will let them know they have gone too far. She is ruled somewhat by self-interest. All her conclusions are made without outside emotional influence. She is very level-headed and will remain calm in an emergency situation. In a situation where other people might get hysterical, she has poise.Diyanah will work more efficiently if given space and time to be alone. She would rather not be surrounded by people constantly. In a relationship, she will show her love by the things she does rather than by the things she says. Saying "I love you" is not a needed routine because she feels her mate should already know. The only exception to this is if she has logically concluded that it is best for her mate to hear her express her love verbally.Diyanah is not subject to emotional appeals. If someone is selling a product to her, they will need to present only the facts. They should present them from a standpoint of her sound judgment. She will not be taken in by an emotional story about someone else. She will meet emergencies without getting hysterical and she will always ask "Is this best for me?"
People that write very large tend to be very social and friendly. It seems Diyanah has this type of writing. This indicates a need for people and a particular natural ability to socialize and be the life of the party. Now, if Diyanah also has specific fears (like fear of criticism or fear of trust) then she will deny she is the life of the party, because fear has overcome her natural inclination to be social. People with large handwriting tend to be effective at anything that requires interaction with lots of people. she is a people person.
Diyanah is sensitive to criticism about her ideas and philosophies. She will sometimes worry what people will think if she tells them what she believes in. This doesn't mean she won't talk, or that she feels ashamed. It merely means she is sensitive to what others think, regarding her beliefs.
Regarding honesty, she is basically honest with a tendency to lie in certain circumstances. This results from a combination of secretiveness (the desire to keep things private) and self deceit (the desire to not accept something in her life at the moment). She deliberately strays from or evades the truth. She feels the truth is not what she wants people to know. This is not always bad. Have you ever known a good secretary that could not say "the Boss isn't in", when the Boss is standing next to the phone? When Diyanah is in a position that she can't find a truthful way out, she might prevaricate.
Diyanah can be defiant. She sometimes has the attitude that if someone doesn't like it the way she is doing it, then they can just "go to hell!" This trait may reveal itself in a rebellious nature that is always ready to resist forces which she thinks are infringing upon her freedom of action.
In reference to Diyanah's mental abilities, she has a very investigating and creating mind. She investigates projects rapidly because she is curious about many things. She gets involved in many projects that seem good at the beginning, but she soon must slow down and look at all the angles. She probably gets too many things going at once. When Diyanah slows down, then she becomes more creative than before. Since it takes time to be creative, she must slow down to do it. She then decides what projects she has time to finish. Thus she finishes at a slower pace than when she started the project.
She has the best of two kinds of minds. One is the quick investigating mind. The other is the creative mind. Her mind thinks quick and rapidly in the investigative mode. She can learn quicker, investigate more, and think faster. Diyanah can then switch into her low gear. When she is in the slower mode, she can be creative, remember longer and stack facts in a logical manner. She is more logical this way and can climb mental mountains with a much better grip.
Diyanah is a practical person whose goals are planned, practical, and down to earth. This is typical of people with normal healthy self-esteem. She needs to visualize the end of a project before she starts. she finds joy in anticipation and planning. Notice that I said she plans everything she is going to do, that doesn't necessarily mean things go as planned. Diyanah basically feels good about herself. She has a positive self-esteem which contributes to her success. She feels she has the ability to achieve anything she sets her mind to. However, she sets her goals using practicality-- not too "out of reach". She has enough self-confidence to leave a bad situation, yet, she will not take great risks, as they relate to her goals. A good esteem is one key to a happy life. Although there is room for improvement in the confidence catagery, her self-perception is better than average.
One way Diyanah punishes herself is self directed sarcasm. She is a very sarcastic person. Often this sarcasm and "sharp tongued" behavior is directed at herself.
Diyanah has a tendency to put things off, Diyanah procrastinates. She sometimes pretends to be busy, so she will not have to do whatever she is putting off. She is often late to appointments or deadlines. This usually leads to a great amount of effort at the last minute to meet the deadline. Procrastination is an important factor as it relates to her output on the job or at school. Remember, Diyanah will put it off until later. Procrastination is easily overcome through a simple stroke adjustment in the handwriting.
Diyanah is selective when picking friends. She does not trust everyone. She has a select group of people that are truly close to her, usually two or three. She is careful when choosing her inner circle of friends.
Diyanah has a healthy imagination and displays a fair amount of trust. She lets new people into her circle of friends. She uses her imagination to understand new ideas, things, and people.
For a graphologist, the spacing on the page reflects the writer's attitude toward their own world and relationship to things in his or her own space. If the inputted data was correct Diyanah has no white space or margins on a typical sheet of paper. Diyanah fills up every last inch on the top, right, left, and bottom. Hmmm. If this is true, then Diyanah has a very aggressive personality toward others and quite frankly lacks a bit of respect for the space and property of other people. I wouldn't be surprised if Diyanah just comes into someone's home and helps herself to a drink in the refrigerator. This can be both an obnoxious personality trait and it can be assertive and effective in getting what you want. There isn't much fear of getting in trouble here, Diyanah finds plenty of reasons to break the rules and get in trouble. (Okay, perhaps when she was younger, not anymore?) Basically, people with no margins are a handful."
I got it at handwritingwizard.com, and I gotta say it's pretty accurate. I just don't think the last paragraph is totally true, but who knows? Maybe I'm just denying the undeniable truth. Huh.
9:55 PM
Forty - Eight
Despite all my previous paranoia, I totally didn't see this one coming.
Mas (SMS): Seab confirmed on web, 12 jan 2 pm. Hahahahahah. (Yes, that's the exact number of hahas)And she's right!
"Results for the 2008 GCE O-Level examination will be released on 12 Jan 2009 ( 2.00 pm )"Now that's more like it!
I know I should be nervous right now, what with just a couple of days left, but I don't think the reality of it has quite sunken in yet. I'm more excited than anything. I started calling as many poeple as I can to spread the good/bad news. It was interesting: I got a variety of responses, from (my favourite) "OMG OMG OMG SERIOUSLY OMG!!!" (Dinah, Zahira, Syuhada), to "Oh shoooot really ah?" (Faatimah, Syafiaah); from voicemail (Fiq) to "She's not home" (Syahidah, Mardhiah); and from "Password slip? What password slip?!" (Maz (my cousin), Amirah) to "If you wanna go to Nanyang nye open house, go tomorrow at 2. Ade Taufik Batisah" (Nadhirah).
Nice.
Countdown starts now.
1:58 AM
Sunday, January 04, 2009
Forty-Seven
So far - because the day's not over yet - I'm having a very very nice time.
It's quiet in the house, which is definietly a bit of weirdness that takes some getting used to. I was woken up for Subuh just as the rest of the family were leaving; it was funny, seeing them all clad in their uniforms without me. After praying, I snuggled up in bed with Calvin and Hobbes (two of my favourite comic friends) before having Frosties cereal for breakfast (one of my favourite cereals). Mmmmm. Then I switched on the computer, doing nothing and a lot of things at the same time, but still balancing everything out by taking a break each hour to do my chores. My mum is very happy with this one - she's dumping all sorts of projects on me. So far I've cleaned the dishes, hung out the laundry, swept the house, mopped the house, and cleaned a cupboard. Not bad, if I do say so myself. I find that I don't mind doing chores, so long as I do it at my own pace and time.
The house was all in order by 11, and I was feeling rather proud of myself, so I watched a movie! I wanted to watch Ratatouille or The Incredibles, but I could find neither, so I settled on Spongebob Squarepants the Movie and watched it with some ice cream and keropok (but not together because that's just wrong) with Max, my monkey-man. Literally. It must have been a sorry image, me watching a movie alone with a stuffed toy propped up to sit beside me, but I don't mind. Max actually makes for very enjoyable company.
I'm going to have to go out in about an hour because Marinah forgot to bring her ez-link with her. What a way to start your first day of school, huh!
Still, I don't mind.
I'm very willing to go and don't feel reluctant fetching her at all.
See?
That's how much of a good mood I am in right now.
*hums*
9:20 PM
Forty-Six
The family's making a ruckus. Tomorrow is the first day of the school, and they're all frantically making the final preparations - packing bags, getting clothes ready, and all that jazz. A couple of weeks, maybe even days, ago, this sight would have made me feel wistful, but now I feel a little smug. I'm glad that I get to extend my holiday a little longer, even if it is only for a couple of days and even if it would be riddled with various activites of the house-caring type.
My cousin was doubtful when I told him that we may be getting our results this coming Friday - he says that, if that were the case, we'd know of it by now through the media. This despite that fact that my friends say that the media would only alert us of our results the day before it is given out - two days, if we're lucky. I don't know who to believe.
That doesn't stop me from being paranoid, though. Everytime I get an SMS - which, admittedly, isn't too often - I get freaked out, thinking that it's a message from one of my friends that would go somewhere along the lines of 'OMG DEE WE'RE GETTING OUR RESULTS TOMORROW CHECK THE NEWSPAPER AAAAAAHHHH!!!!', when the message is actually from Singtel promoting some new service that failed to catch my attention long enough for me to read it till the end.
I really can't stand the anticipation anymore. Even if they can't give it to me right now, at least give me the date of that Day so that I can freak out now, in advance, and then be resolved, resigned, and ready when the Day finally arrives.
The website has nothing to reveal:
"Examination Results for GCE O-Level will be released in mid January of the year following the examination year.
You will have your results sent to you by post. You may also retrieve your results through the Internet."Gaah.
3:39 AM
Thursday, January 01, 2009
Forty - Five
Graduation Day.
The event was scheduled to begin at 9, so naturally, it started at 10 am. Thus began an hour of speeches, followed by an hour of ceremonial 'certificate' giving, before finally ending the whole thing with class photos, ordinary photos, and eating. Overall a very uneventful event, though I was very very proud of Nadhirah for giving that speech. *thumbs up*
Nonetheless, the whole thing was made worthwhile by being able to see everybody again. I was happily surprised at how surprisingly happy I was to meet the class - it's good to know that I'm not ready to move on just yet. I even got a few hugs, which were lovely. I'm not usually a hugger, but it's not because I don't like them or feel uncomfortable about them. I just think that they're something that should be saved for special occasions. That way they become even more precious and mean something even more.
Still. There's no need to get too sentimental yet. If rumours ring true, then I'll probably be seeing everyone again next week, when we will supposedly be getting our results. This is
way earlier than I expected, though to be honest, I wish they'd just hand it over so I can just get this whole drama done and overwith. Really. I don't know how I long I can delude myself into not thinking about it. I don't know how I'm going to endure the hour long journey to school, knowing I'm getting closer and closer to my results. I don't know how I'm going to endure the journey back home. I think I should bring shades.
Okay I'm gonna stop thinking about it now.
Here.
This might help.
From Lemony Snicket's 'The Beatrice Letters':
"Always. Continuously. With increasing apprehension, and decreasing hope. I will love you with no regard to the actions of our enemies or the jealousies of our comrades. I will love you with no regard to the outrage of certain parents or the boredom of certain friends. I will love you no matter what is served in the world's cafeterias or what games are played at each and every recess. I will love you no matter how many fire drills we are all forced to endure, and no matter what is drawn upon the blackboard in blurry, boring chalk. I will love you if you cut your hair and I will love you if you cut the hair of others. I will love you if I see you every Tuesday, and I will love you if I never see you again. I will love you as the pesto loves the fettuchini and as the horseradish loves the miyagi, and as the tempura loves the ikura and the pepperoni loves the pizza. I will love you as the manatee loves the head of lettuce and as the dark spot loves the leopard, as the leech loves the ankle of a wader and as a corpse loves the beak of the vulture. I will love you as an airplane loves to fall from a clear blue sky and as an escalator loves to entangle expensive scarves in its mechanisms. I will love you as a drawer loves a secret compartment, and as a secret compartment loves a secret, and as a secret loves to make a person gasp, and as a gasping person loves a glass of brandy to calm their nerves, and as a glass of brandy loves to shatter on the floor, and as the noise of glass shattering loves to make someone else gasp, and as someone else gasping loves a desk to lean against, even if leaning against it presses a lever that loves to open a drawer and reveal a secret compartment. I will love you until all such compartments are discovered and opened, and until all the secrets have all gone gasping into the world."
This is just a smaaaaaall smaaaaall snippet, people. I swear it goes on and on for like 3 and a half pages.
So sweet.
10:58 PM
Forty-Four
Here is the truth: I don't really, truly feel like blogging. I'm only doing it now out of pure obligation, which is actually not a good thing because obligation takes the fun out of all your writing. When you writing about something you love or you're excited about, it shines through your words. When you write something because your sisters have reminded you and thus made you feel guilty and rather irresponsible, you can't come up with much.
But here I am, writing out of obligation anyway, because guilt and sisters combined do that to you. You do things you'd rather not. So.
It's the first day of 2009! That's going to take some getting used to. I've always had a bit of trouble adjusting to changes. I remember still writing 'Sec 3 Pink' on all my work when I had in fact already graduated to Sec 4. Speaking of which - I can't wait for Lily to get all those O Level speeches she's going to get from the teachers during her first few days of school. It makes me want to grin evilly. Which I am doing now. Which makes me incredibly stupid. Which makes me laugh. Which makes me feel stupid again. Which makes me laugh again.
The saga continues.
(Ha ha ha)
I don't feel like anything has changed now that we have passed on to the new year. I'd like to think that I've gotten a little smarter and a little wiser, though. Just a little, but with still enough stupidity to make me stay human. For instance: I'm wise enough to know that I'm terrible at following through any kind of plan; therefore, I didn't make any new year resolutions. But, I'm still stupid enough to tell myself that the reason I didn't make any new year resolutions is because I'm smart, and not because I'm lazy.
See?
I'm growing up.
Tomorrow is Graduation Day.
Mas says:
oh i forgot to ask you...are you excited for tomorrow?
Ponyo Ponyo Ponyo says:
haha ok ok ah. itd be nice to see everybody again, and im interested at what the ceremonys going to be like
Ponyo Ponyo Ponyo says:
but im not looking forward to gosoking my school clothes
(Yeah, I'm the Ponyo Ponyo Ponyo)I'm also not looking forward to getting my results, which, as my sister cheerfully reminds me, is in half a month's time. She's just trying to be helpful of course - just because I'm having nightmares about them in my sleep doesn't mean I should not think about it when I'm awake!
Also, it'd mean that the holidays are very quickly coming to end, which is sad because, despite not regularly updating, a LOT of things have been happening. We go out all the time, which is fun, even if it is just to have lunch together. Maybe especially so.
But all's well that ends well, whatever the heck
that means.
We all have to face our own destinies sooner or later.
So before I end this post, there is one last thing I must say:
"Red and black,Poison lack.Red and yellow,A dangerous fellow."
Which means that one of them is harmless, while the other one is absolutely lethal. I'll leave it to you to figure out which one.
So that's it! I am now ready to welcome the new year with open arms.
WELCOME 2009!!!!
*spreads arms wide*
Now what?
3:01 AM
