Saturday, April 11, 2009
Sixty
This may just be one of the most trickiest posts that I've ever had to write.
First of all, I'm not quite sure what I'm supposed to say or talk about. I search my mind for ideas, the only thing that comes to me is school. I mean, that's how it's always been. I've always talked about school, because that's what my life mainly revolved around. And, still, revolves around. Yet the people who I am writing to, now, assuming that they are still reading and have been reading my blog in the first place, are no longer in school with me. Anything I say or write or talk about is probably no longer relevant, or interesting, to them. I think to myself that there is surely something in my life and our friendship beyond school - but what? What do I say? If I were to meet up with my friends right now I'm sure we would still click and talk as easily as always, but it's different when you're blogging. Blogging isn't a conversation, it's the telling of a story. And frankly, I have no stories to tell.
Except maybe one.
Have I changed?
Deep in my heart I sense that the answer is no. Deep down I feel like I'm the same Diyanah that I was last year. But am I really? This year has been a whole set of new things for me - of course I'd change. How can I not? It's perfectly logical, and normal. I haven't totalled flipped into this new, unrecognisable Dee. I've just changed a little.
And yet.
I don't like that idea.
I don't like the thought of me, changing, even if it is just a little.
Why should I change?
Then again,
Why shouldn't I?
1:57 AM
